It's been a while. It's been forever! And it ain't like nothing's happened in all this time, just that I haven't had a chance to write anything down. Some might say I was busy. Or lazy. Oddly a combo of both.

Anyway, Moishe said this thing today that just cracked me - and whom better to share it with that all of ya, and by that I obviously mean no one, since no one reads it. But it needs to be written down for the record, for posterity. So here goes.

Moishe is 5.6 years old, in Kitta Aleph and Rebbe Blumenberg told the kids to come dressed up in their costumes on Thursday because, as Moishe explains it:

"Vahl, mahn rebbe voint nisht in America." Pronunciation here is key: Ahmeerika.

Of course not. His rebbe is from BP.

The kids is too funny.

He's in Grade School

Moishe is a big boy. Of course he is. And his friends are big kids. Of course they are.
They're in Kindergarten. Granted, it isn't Kitteh Aleph or Kitteh Beis. But as he tells it:

"S'iz nisht dut gevein kinder fin nursery. Noor groise kinder.
Nisht kitteh aleph... nor kitteh gatten."

20 Years...

I need to brag. Not because this story is particularly impressive, but rather because my son is. And I forget that. Of course I realize it when he says something incredibly smart. But the sad fact is that I forget it shortly after. And I don't want to forget this. Not this particular incident, but these incidents. The fact that they happen and he makes me smile ever so proudly.

So here it is.

: There was something going on with the kids and their botties, and Moishe was getting an older one as a replacement. Which he was fine with, cuz typically he's fine with anything. I didn't hear the conversation between the two, but I guess Mochai must have told him that his is an old one. To which Moishe responded with 'So, danz hut men gekoift 20 yoor tzerik'

so Mochai tells me 'Moishe zoogt az mahn bottie iz 20 yoor alt. Eh! s'ken nisht zein veil tvuntzig yoor tzerik bin ech nuch afileh nisht gevein geboiren. In oiched - - tvuntzig yoor tzerik bistee nuch gevein nein.'

No thinking, no calculating. Just simply. Matter of factly.

End of story. I'm still beaming.

Chaim Mordche goes to shul on Shabbos morning. Long time coming and he finally convinced his father that he is big enough for it. He tells me later that Moishe Aaron was trying to convince him to stay behind. That they can have more fun here.

"Farvoos bakimt men a gressere schar? Fahr gein in sheel udder fahr shpeelen doo?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"S'ken zein az a Yingel zull zein elter vee zein tatteh"

I told him that not really. And knowing math he should know that.

"Mahn rebbe zoogt az ven Moshiach geit kimmen geit men oifshtein tzee techias hamaysim pinkt dee zelbe age vee ven m'iz niftar gevurren.... So lemushel as a tatteh is chas veshooolem, chas veshoolem niftar gevuren ven de yingel is nuch gevein klein. In dee yingel vert yuh a tatteh, in nuchdeim a zeida. Ven Moshiach vet kimmen. Vere vet zein elter?"

I told him that was good riddle. A good trick. He's right, it could be that the son will be older than the father.

Wide eyes: "S'iz nisht a trick. S'iz emess!"

Purim we started the state of emergency immediately upon dressup,

It was beautiful really. In spite of tight deadlines, and complicated preparation we managed to be ahead of schedule for most of the day.Thursday started at Bash and it was really great. The three muskateers, who might as well have dressed up as three muskateers - but looked just as cute 'in uniform', probably were the best dancers. But no one, and I do mean NO ONE, compared with the talented booty wiggling of Fi-ko. The poor kid couldn't stop. When out of exhaustion she finally plopped down, she found herself rocking back and forth with such fervor, it seemed like a truly intense experience.

Purim morning started with Megillah leinen in our house, MY and lil Moish came over. And the leining was smooth and quick. Rebbe's visits too went perfectly on schedule and we got to MIL in record time.

And that's when it all went topsy turvy. I was rereading the first paragraph of my column this week, and with apparent psychic powers I had written:

If there is ever a time of year when it is difficult to structure our days, Purim basically sums it up. Regardless of how well we plan our events, our meals, and of course, our mishloach manos route, the only thing predictable about the day, is its unpredictability. And that too is part of the charm and joy of this Yom Tov. After all, Purim is about reversing everyday rules, and living venohapach hu.

According to Moishe's version of the events it was the book's fault. After all it was the book that was 'stuck'. He was completely oblivious to the fact that it was the book that was holding up the window in that heavy metal frame. Nothing about that innocent book yelled 'Danger!' He seemed mighty upset that he didn't get to read teh book - or maybe the crying was due all the blood.

After the amazing heroic efforts of Yossi to stop the bleeding and even get him to the hospital without crying, we got the plastic surgeon to make him all better.

And it being Purim and all, he even got to show what a 'real' smile looks like:
"Azoi macht men a smile. Emess?"

Simchas Purim to all!

The hour is late, but I know that if I don't record the following it will soon be forgotten, and it is just too sweet a story for something like that too happen.

Not much of a story really, but something Moishe said.

Ya know Moish. Right? Big puppy eyes. Yummy little face, but those eyes are an interesting shape. Cute? No doubt. Different? Big time.

So this Shabbos Moishe looks himself in the mirror and takes note of his eyes. "Mami," he informs me solemnly "Eech hub azalacha grubba oigen."

I didn't laugh, gimme some credit. But it was sure hard not too.

This photo is from almost a year ago at his upsherin.

I wonder whether that was when he first noticed this 'issue'.

Mazel Tov Shiffy!

Double Mazel Tov this week with Shiffy and Rivka Leah giving birth to beautiful little girls. I haven't quite seen them yet, but I don't think that I am running the risk of being too far off by predicting prettiest little faces here.

I was going to head over to Shiffy today. It's Friday, and a short one at that, but I rushed! Got myself and the home and the kitchen ready, the kids were all revved up to go - - and down came the rain.

But the poem is already written, a variation of my other baby poems, yet mostly an original. Whataya think?

Mazel Tov Moishe & Shiffy,

A miracle occurred,
When the world was graced
With the beauty and perfection
Of this darling little face.

And though we haven’t seen her yet
Of her beauty we’re very sure.
Because we’ve seen the darlings
That have come before.

And speaking of your older kids,
May you always see
Much happiness and nachas
From your beautiful family.

All our love,

All of us.

Yummy Thanks

A. must have been real hungry on his most recent grocery shopping excursion. Or maybe it was my diet that made me so hungry that the cookies looked like decadent delicacies. Whichever it was, Mochai too seemed to have found the contents of the grocery order boxes to be particularly exciting.

After the initial oohs and aahs, Mochai turned to me with his most charming smile and said ‘Shkoyech Mami’. I told him that his father needs the ‘shkoyech’, seeing as he bought the goodies. ‘Eech veis. Eech gei eim balld zoogen. Ubber ersht zoog eech far deer. Vall dee geist meer ess geyben.’

Suddenly, starvation diet and all, the cookies weren’t the yummiest thing in the room.

Ehr Farshteit

My sons are sweet ke’h.

Every mom’s frequent lament applies to me too: I never write down the sweet things my sons say or do. I just hung up with his Babbi who together with Zeidy is presently enjoying an evening stroll on the boardwalk in North Miami Beach. (The tickets were the exciting $8- each way. Whataya say?) So Babbi told me to get off the phone and write these things down. I call her frequently with these little anecdotes, but quite naturally we forget them immediately after our call. So in order for us to remember in the future, she wants it written down. Her sister Malka always brags. Her having with what to notwithstanding, my dear mom wants to too.
She’s got cute einiklech too.
They say sweet things too.
She just never remembers the lines when she needs to.

If it’s a memory issue then I’ve got reason to worry. I can’t come up with the past sweet stuff that had me running for the phone and out of my son’s earshot.

So back to my son, (who is of course the topic of the current blog). He’s sweet. Oh, I’ve said that already. Alright then, on with the story.

Tonight he tells me that he knows how rain forms. His rebbe told him. ‘Dee vulken foort tzee deh vasser, in nuchdeim geit ess aroop, in s’chapt arein deh vasser. Assach mool in deh country ken men zein vee dee vulken kimt aroop. Noochdeim foort dee vulkan tzerik aroif, in s’iz fill mit vasser ken nuchdeim reigenen.’

I explained to him that he almost got it right. But the clouds aren’t lowered into the water so as to absorb it, but rather the water goes into the air as little droplets, and the clouds sucks ‘em in.

‘Eech farshtei’ he tells me. ‘Voos deh rebbe hut gezugt iz voos m’zugt far dee kleine kinder az zei zullen farsthein.’ With a very serious face he tells me ‘Ubber eech farshtei shoin voos dee hust gezoogt’.

He’s five. Too mature for the kiddie version. Absolutely Mochai. Always. I’ll try to remember that.

A Mitzvah

It’s been a while, but it is time I record some of the sweetest exchanges I had with my son. If it seems like I’m bragging, it probably is because I am. But the truth is, this site isn’t really for the public, but rather for myself and for those that actually do care about how sweet my son is.

And he is a darling! A big boy now, in ‘kita aleph’ now, and 5 ½.

This past week on the way to cheder, as we walked out of the building, I held the door open for some elderly gentleman. I noticed a wide smile on Mochai’s face and asked him about it. ‘Dee hust yetzt gehat a mitzvah.’ He then turned to Moishe to explain that I what I did was so wonderful, and now I have a mitzvah.

Moishe of course, had to be contrary, so he immediately disagreed. The ‘Oh no’ ‘Oh yeah’ was ongoing all the way to cheder. Mostly wasn’t embarrassing in its typicality – until Mochai turns to me and asks in clear earshot of passerbys ‘Mami emes dee hust yetzt gehat a reeziga mitzvah?’ I couldn’t really tell him no but saying yes just seemed weird, so I explained to Moishe in a very educational tone that holding a door open for another person is a very nice thing to do, and if he were to do that he would have a mitzvah.

I’d like to think that if anyone listened to the exchange that I sounded like a sweet, calm parent who teaches her kids proper manners on the way to school. On some occasions it is nice be thought of as something we aren’t :).

We had a similar occurrence one day when I helped a little boy cross the street. Upon hearing that I have no idea who the kid is, but ‘crossed’ him cuz he asked, Mochai looked at me with open admiration as said ‘Wow Mami! Deys heist a echta mitzvah’. And the smile on his face was one of pure pride. Whataya know! My son was shepping nachas.

And here’s my sincerest prayer that I give my son reason to be proud of me, and that he always look at me with that smile and love.

Considering that his teenage years aren’t that far off, I can’t help thinking ‘fat chance!’

It's been forever, and I just had to post something new.



So much going on.... so little I can talk about, though....

Suffice it so say that if revenge is sweet, my week has been one sweet one!

And as Rush Limbaugh would say - I'm having more fun than a human being should be allowed to have.



But enough of this, went shopping today at the 99 cents store. cheap stuff, right?

Then why did I walk out with a $43 dollar bill? ah, the mysteries of life.

Tantrums... I mean - Good Morning!

So Mochai already threw 2 tantrums this morning. He was quite vehemently disagreeing with me on 4 issues, so I suppose the fact that he consolidated his complaints into merely 2 explosive reactions should be considered a blessing.

For starters, he didn't want to wear the belt (I removed it), he didn't want his peyos made - 'stit vei' (I did it anyway). He didn't want to press the elevator button, and since others were waiting, and I had no intentions of them waiting around ‘til Mochai might decide that he does want to press it - I pressed it. So he threw a tantrum the entire way down that he had wanted to press it.

And then finally, on the street he decided that he wants an open zipper. I zipped him up. He unzipped, I rezipped, he unzipped, I rezipped - - we left it at that. We were late for his bus - of course, but met up with the other bus that has his rebbe on it. So at least he went to cheder with his rebbe.

He had a smirky smile on his face. He was doing better....

Mature explanations

Gitty needed something on maturity. See, the 'vocabulary' word for these third graders was a word that the concept was far beyond them - even if the word itself wasn't. I wonder if the teacher herself is mature enough to grasp what maturity ought to mean for these 8 year old. From the example she gave - I am not so certain...

Nonetheless - here it is. I hope she doesn't have any difficulty reading it.

Maturity is knowing how to say thank you,
And appreciating everything our teachers do-
Maturity is knowing how to say your sorry,
And reassuring those that worry…
maturity is caring less about ourselves and more about our friends
because maturity is when responsibility starts and selfishness ends.

Decent enough?

- Pic removed -

The sweetest, kindest, nicest, smartest, bestest little brother a girl can have - with his adorable kallah. Can you believe it??!?